Dear Alcohol

​Dear alcohol,

Why must have you taken members of my family from me? You make them act pretty differently and not in a very good way. Especially my dad who you seem to keep taking more and more of everyday. He gets way more mad when he drinks a lot of you so he doesn’t hesitate to hurt me and my family anymore. Even when we do nothing wrong he still hurts us. I learned to take his constant belittling eventually though or else he’ll hurt me more. Sometimes I think I deserve his punishments though. After all, he seems to usually only drink you at every mistake I make. It’s probably to forget I was ever born. I don’t blame him though because I wish I never existed either. He seems to love you much more than me and family. At least, that’s what he tells me. I understand that too. I remember when he loved us more when I was much younger. I even remember being upset when he left for work, but now I’m honestly a bit afraid of him when he drinks you. I think I’m more afraid for him getting hurt because of you than me and my family. I mean, I remember him drinking alcohol then going for a drive when my mom and him fought. I also remember when I woke up early in the morning due to my dad screaming out in pain. My mom had to call 911 because my dad usually never likes to show his pain so it must have been serious. Turns out he had uclers on his gallbladder and a swollen gallbladder so surgeons had to surgically remove his gallbladder. This happened to my dad because of you, alcohol. I remember being upset and worried about him for many days until he felt much better. One of my classmates asked me what was wrong since I looked down those days, but I refused to make them worry too. My sister never cared much about my dad though, but my mom was so worried that she was crying. I remember many times I tried to cheer her up because of my dad. At least my dad changed his opinion on you for a bit, alcohol. It’s a shame that this didn’t last for very long and his addiction to you actually got way worse. My sister then decided to lead the same path as my dad of alcohol addiction. My mom will wail and go out on the streets at midnight searching for my sister when she is drunk at times. People make fun of us because of my sister’s antics. They say it’s our fault she’s like this. That we could of done something to stop her, but it’s pretty hard to do that as she’ll still go outside and drink under lock and key. I still think it’s ALL of my fault she drinks you. Why must I be such an embarrassment!? I completely understand why my family tells me this. For that reason, it makes sense they take out their anger about family problems on me. I still tried talking to my dad and sister about you though. I tried changing their minds, but they didn’t listen. I forgive my dad and my sister of their alcohol addiction though because I know it’s hard to get rid of. I don’t forgive you though alcohol. 

                                                                                                         A son and a brother of alcoholics, 

                                                   Frankie 

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2 thoughts on “Dear Alcohol

  1. Addiction is such a sad theng, the way it takes a hold of a person’s life and spills over others as well. I feel for you. But please don’t blame yourself. It is the addict who is the victim – you have a choice not to be a victim yourself. And you can still be present for your family. I wish you well

    Liked by 1 person

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